I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
