there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
