i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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