He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
