she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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