Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize