whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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