Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize