yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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