Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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