your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I believe in your delicious
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
