I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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