people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
