My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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