so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
