It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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