I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
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i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
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Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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