drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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