Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I think my fart just growled at me.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
