U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
