When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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