We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
