What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
