real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
