Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
