You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize