tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
