I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
