Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
