My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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