I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
