You really coming over, don't trick.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
