its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
