I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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