i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
