he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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