so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
