I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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