College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
