i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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