you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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