im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
