My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I party with great urgency now.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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