Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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