my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
