Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
