woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
