The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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