Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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