So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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