I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
