Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
