At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
