Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I currently don't understand fingers.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
