I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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