ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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