I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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