I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
