I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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