Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
