i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
