apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
