ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
