every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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