Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
