A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
