I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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