why didn't you poke me back
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
only if we run a train.
done.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
