Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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