Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Randomize
